Odd day...

I tend to be wrapped up in The Headache which makes me self absorbed. I have a name for The Headache but I've been told that to speak the names of demons from hell aloud isn't good mojo.
I was at church today and I was watching a close friend of mine. I can see that she hurts but she internalizes it. In all of the time that I've known her she's never really told me what SHE is feeling. We used to be assigned to visit a few ladies in our ward. We were partners for a few years and I have to say that sometimes I was the cool head of reason in one particularly difficult lady's house. That, right there, is a frightening thought but it's true. I was assigned because I am not easily offended and I play well with others. Anyway, sometimes my friend would be silent and I'd give up early on trying to talk. I tiptoed through our visits and carried the conversations. When she'd drop me off at home or vice versa, I'd say "If you want to talk about it, I'm always here." She never called. One day I was told that I was going to be released from the calling to visit because of the number of other church callings that I had and the number of people doing it. I felt I should be the one to tell her. She was upset and for the first time I realized she considered me a friend. So I went to the leaders and ask that they keep us together for a while longer. About a year ago I WAS finally released. For months she wrote these cards to me and sent them to me in the mail. I realized then that I was her best friend. I treasured each card because I struggle, too, with life's ups and downs and B... The Headache. I make it a point to seek her out at church and talk to her for a bit and occasionally we have family get togethers. Today she was seated a few rows in front of me and I wrote her a note in our first meeting. It said what I always do, "I'm always here for you. I'm a phone call away and I love you." She finally left the meeting early and never glanced my way. I could literally feel her pain. Her daughter is in my Sunday School class and I gave her the note because I never saw my friend again. She won't call. I wonder what it's like to keep your pain and troubles bottled up... I guess I'll never know because I'm just the opposite. But for today, I actually thought I was fortunate to have The Headache. I'm not sure I could deal with whatever it is that is hurting her.