Fear and Loathing in the Briar Patch...

I grew up a shy awkward girl. I've mentioned the school I went to was more sports oriented and my talents fell into an academic category. I had the best friends in the world, but I felt so average. I really never did, or do now, excel at anything. I've never had much self-esteem and I hated high school. I hated the town I went to school in and though I could never really express it, I hated myself. As I got older, especially after I had kids, I became more outgoing and outspoken. Actually downright blunt, too blunt for some people. I hated that stupid girl from that small town for not having the confidence I had developed later. I was ashamed. I was also determined to make a different life for my kids. They were and are my life. I threw myself into becoming the mom with the coolest treats for their preschool. So cool that the teacher finally let me do all the holiday treats. I volunteered in their classes through elementary school, I joined the PTA, I served as treasurer for 2 years and I can't balance my own checkbook! I did this so I could choose the best teachers for them. They tested off the chart (12th grade+)in the Star Testing before they left elementary school. I taught them to be kind and polite to the best of my abilities. I also managed to teach them to love themselves. YEARS of it and it's so easily swept away.

It turns out that mean girls exist everywhere. Even right next door. At church. They have stayed at your house. You might even be the reason they can read. And they can sweep away YEARS of dedication. I didn't help my daughter. In fact, it may be all because of me.

And I have no idea how to fix it. I just make it worse. I wish they has someone else for a mother. It seems I've done everything wrong.

But what did they SAY??

Variations on Martin Niemoller's famous quote but all make the point that if you stand idly by, you're no less guilty. In fact, to those who have a brighter future because our paths have crossed, you are the worst offenders of all...

First they came for the Communists,
and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Communist.
Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn’t speak up,
because I wasn’t a Jew.
Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn’t speak up,
because I was a Protestant.
Then they came for me,
and by that time there was no one
left to speak up for me.

~ Rev. Martin Niemoller, 1945

Oddly this parallels ANOTHER situation I've had to deal with recently. A difficult decision I had to make that cost me dearly. It would have been easier to stay silent, but for the person I spoke up for... I hope that it will make a difference. A BIG difference.

Does anyone speak Becklish?

Because he's never going to understand the words "fact checking."


The country's greatest resource is our future. Because honestly they will be our new government. You know "drill baby drill" our "mavericks" or "hope for change." This girl is an intern with the Michigan Republican Party. She's 17 not 13. Very politically active and that is admirable. Our youth need to learn moderation in politics on both sides because it's our only hope. She's clueless and has not learned both sides of the fence to make an educated decision when she votes (less than a year). Choose your inspiration wisely. And above all, know your facts.

I can't remember ever feeling hate..

But I hate right now. It's really scary.

I just saw New Moon..

Yes, I am a renaissance woman, that's why you keep coming back!!☺
Here's my critique:
They need to scrap the first movie and have this director remake it. This movie was WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY better than the book. Suddenly all the Team Edward peoples are feeling Team Jacob. I realize that Robert Pattinson is playing a vampire and can't change the fact that next to Taylor Lautner who put on 35+ pounds of muscle he looks really bad. But he COULD wax the sporadic chest hair. Loved the movie and will be back before the week is out!

BTW I'm Team Edward but Bella doesn't deserve either of them. I dislike her character and the actress who plays her. The casting is only half good but the actors were better under this director and Dakota Fanning was a stroke of genius.

Also on a personal note, they had us cheer for Team Edward vs. Team Jacob. The winner got a tee-shirt. Some (old as me) chick won it but she stood up. I think if I had known that a spectacle was necessary I would have won it for my daughter.

Fun night with my girlie and my sister!☺

Seriously???

My friend Bob just sent me this link. I can't get it to embed so here's the link:

Is It Time to Stop Picking On Glenn Beck?

BTW, the LDS church does not approve of lying, incest, fearmongering, etc. Glenn Becks views are his own and not shared by others of his faith.

And no, if you dish it out be prepared to take it.

I saw this some weeks back...

It totally cracked me up then and others have tried to top it. I'm thinking no one can.
Christopher Walken does Poker Face by Lady Gaga:

Awww, a guest blogger!

My daughter chose me as a subject for a report at school. . She gave me permission to post it but I will be removing some place names for those of you who are a bit TOO freaky 'bout the Patch :)

[My daughter's name]
November 12, 2009
B3
Win-Win Mentor
My Win-Win Mentor

My Win-Win Mentor is my mom Monica [last name removed]. She is 5'6 and has long red hair. Monica was born in Las Vegas, Nevada, and then when she was four she moved to [Hometown], UT, and later moved to [current location]. I think that she is a very strong, beautiful and opinionated person. Also she is a patient and very friendly. She can strike up a conversation with anyone, and tries to be positive even when she disagrees with people’s ideas or views. My mom attended [Unpleasant place] High School and had ambitions to become a Marine Biologist. Later she decided not to fulfill this dream because of all of the required traveling, and homesickness. However, she still loves Marine life. She loves to learn about the animals because it was a dream of hers.

My mom is a Win-win person because she tries to make everyone’s life better by compromise. She will try to find the best way to make everyone happy wherever she goes. One time we wanted to go on a vacation, and we had already been to Hawaii, but my dad loves it there. The rest of us wanted to do something different. We talked about it and she eventually decided to let us go back to Hawaii. But under the conditions that we would be able to visit a many of the sites we didn’t before. These included: the Sea life Park, Whale watching, and visiting the replica of a Buddhist temple. My dad agreed to let us go visit all of these places and they both won. My parents both got to go where they wanted and my sister and I got to see some really amazing sites. We all ended up really enjoying the trip, because of our parents being Win-Win.

I chose my mom as my mentor because I really look up to her; she is a very inspiring person. There are many qualities that she has that I think if I took them into my life it would
make it better. When I grow up I want to be like her because of her understanding, and patient nature. I think it would make me a more Win-Win person.

I'm very honored by my daughter's view of me and appreciate the filter her love for me, creates. I would like to be more like her. Maybe we can take the positive from each other. She certainly makes me proud.

People Magazine Sexiest Man Alive??

JOHNNY DEPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I know, I keep telling people that, but it often takes a bigger name than little ol' me to get the point across!

Also on the list: My long time fave, LL Cool J! AND Robert Downey Jr!!

People Magazine should hire me :)

Link

Zhang Yimou

So I completely love the work of Zhang Yimou. His visual aesthetic is flawless and he often uses 2 of my favorite actresses: Gong Li and Zhang Ziyi. I watched one today that has been one of my very favorite of his movies this far. It's called "Not One Less". This one didn't have Ziyi or Li in it but his main character was a 13 year old girl with amazing will and determination. I highly recommend it if you like Chinese movies with subtitles.

Also I went to get a book at the bookstore by an author I think I will really like, Lisa See, but have decided that Amazon will save me money. She's written a few but the one I want is called "Snow Flower and the Secret Fan". Imagine my excitement to find out that it's going to be made into a movie starring Zhang Ziyi and it will also be her second foray into directing! YAY!!!

See? We CAN work together! :)

So I've been researching and writing a new blog, but I'm not entirely happy with it. It's been 40 years since the Manson Family killings. It's not ONLY because of it's subject matter, but because it's been difficult for me to sort through the testimony and the repudiations of the various members. I'm almost done but it's not a happy topic.
This is:

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
The 11/3 Project
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Not ONLY was Jon Stewart nice enough to get his crazy on in the absence of Glenn Beck, I don't have to look at the stills of Beck's face everytime I come here :)

Oh snap!! and the sequel: snap2!!!

It so unfair to have your rallies on things that suck and have someone else pick up some little non-issue to suggest you aren't being honest.

Like this

UPDATE!!!
How funny is Jon Stewart?

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Sean Hannity Apologizes to Jon
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

Blog

It's not even a nice word. There are so many bloggers online, so many blogs, most go unnoticed. Maybe they want it that way. One of my favorite bloggers is a friend of my nieces. He's a photographer and artistic in nature. His posts are very unguarded, you definitely feel his pain. I'm not sure where he belongs and I wonder if he knows. He's posted entries from Utah and also posted through a time he was living in Vegas. Vegas would be more conducive to his lifestyle (personally and professionally), I would think but he's back here and he truly IS in a Paradox Patch. I'm not sure the general population appreciates the fact that he's not a cookie cut type that you think you are getting what you see. I like him. I like to read when he's happy because he's clever and funny. But he seems to blog more about the pain he feels and I appreciate that as well.

I certainly am not the cookie cut type either, but for the most part people actually appreciate me for that. My personality is handy in some situations and I'm "sent" to take care of things or situations. The problem is, you can't "un-send" me.

Recently on facebook I passed along a post that asked people to use one word to describe me. The results were very interesting. One person, I've known for around 16 years and I've always gotten the impression that she dislikes me. Not that that is unusual, to the contrary. You love me or hate me, but most of the time I know why you hate me. Her I'm not sure about. She chose the word "intriguing"... I'm a pretty open book so I can't imagine anyone finding me intriguing. Her husband chose the word "mystic". I have NOOO idea what that's about but it may be part of the reason she dislikes me. One friend said "unique" and he stands by it, but I think he could expound and it wouldn't be a pretty sight. I'm glad it was just one word. One long time internet friend chose "bipolar". THAT one I understand even though he was joking. I appear to be one way on the surface and when you know me better you see the other sides of me. I suggested bipolar was an understatement because what you are going to get could be anything. I may open the door smiling (at something one of my daughter's just said). I may open the door crying (in pain). I may open the door furious (it takes very little these days). Often I seem distracted, which I am. I am always researching something. Often multiple things.

When I was 15 I discovered I love Shakespeare, it was like meeting a new person within myself. When I was trying to lose the last 10 pounds I'd gained during pregnancy of my second daughter I discovered that not only do I LOVE yoga, but I'm extremely good at it. There are few things I am good at so that was an exciting new facet to find. I'm very visually stimulated. I love movies by certain directors because, visually, they move me. Yoga is aesthetically pleasing, I was always trying to perfect. Shakespeare is a pleasant assault on all senses, for me. I love to decorate (interior design) and for some people in my life it's fun because they can't see a finished Tuscan kitchen that came from a plate I bought at a second hand store. Kudos to my husband, he listens to what I am trying to achieve and helps me figure out a way to achieve it. Sometimes he looks dubious but in the end he deserves most of the credit. (He was a bit freaked out with the bright yellow shade I asked for in the kitchen and I wasn't sure how my plan to antique it would work out, but he stuck in there and loves it.) My best friend helped with my last room (I call it my Zen room) and the kitchen. He doesn't even try to get me to explain, he just waits to see what I've been seeing for months.

I've mentioned The Headache with a frequency that most people who know probably find tedious. I'm sorry for that, but it's my every waking moment. It's also the reason I haven't done yoga in years, or seen a Shakespeare play. That I've stopped redecorating. That the light I used to awaken early for pouring in my living room window is now blocked with dark curtains that are always shut. The parties I loved to plan with ambitions most people doubted I could pull off are now a shadow of what they were. I'm a shadow. I'm not intriguing or mystic. I'm broken.

I've always written. I always will write. I'm not persistent enough to get my writing published as I would like to. (I am published, though). I think it would be easier if I could draw the images that are in my head that I write about, but I can't do it. I'm not an illustrator and I'm not sure I can even pass what I see in my head onto someone who is. So my artwork will always be words. Often overlooked, in a sea of other wordsmiths.

So to the friend of my niece's whose blog I'm a fan, I feel your blog. You are very good at expressing your feelings. Like you this is often raw and open. Scary to share. I didn't even mean to, it just happened. But with all of us bloggers in the world, with various degrees of writing talent, can't we come up with a better word than BLOG???

It's like an early Christmas!

The Filipino prisoners + Queen medley= Good stuff, right there.
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Oops I forgot the link!
I love them both!

And Fox decides to help Jon Stewart to rest his case...

Chris Wallace invites Rush Limbaugh to weigh in...

Uh yeah, pulling out the big guns. No pun intended.

Super race..

Since President Obama is going to be labeled as the reincarnation of Hitler, I'm thinking an, umm, DNA donation from Johnny Depp would make the world a much more beautiful place. THAT would be a super race.

Sorry.. Edward Scissorhands and From Hell in a 24 hour period will do that.