Joy vs. Happiness

 Joy is the most infallible sign of the presence of God. — Pierre Teilhard de Chardin (But I heard it from Stephen Colbert, when it struck a chord for me.)

Stephen was on Oprah and he spoke of the time between ages 10-18 coming to terms with the death of his father and two brothers in an airplane crash. He said it was like having a secret identity, like a name that no one else could pronounce. I so get this. I have for most of my life been an open book. But my secret identity came 10 years ago in the form of a headache. It is something so innately a part of me that I can't even describe it. Not the pain or the depression. Not the part of me that has been slowly eaten away. Nor the fact that it deserves it's own name but in 10 years I've been unable to christen something I hate and resent so badly. 

Happiness isn't hard for me but my moments of joy are like treasures in a box. There's not an unlimited supply and where they came from is not always there to share them with me anymore. My family is the greatest source of joy and I feel that they have been cheated the most. I HATE this headache more on their behalf than the pain it gives me. I find joy in the things that I discover that I love. Lately that is Korean dramas. It would rightly be called an obsession but it's my latest thin tether to sanity and I actually learning the language so YAY!!!

My friends intrigue me. I make friends easily and find that people are very accepting of my prickly personality. Why do some stay and why do some find it easy to throw it away. My most quality friendship that is the most valuable and still valid began at age 15. I was mean to her first. Terribly mean. I along with another friend bullied her and I've asked forgiveness so many times that it angers her. She says she's forgiven and forgotten and I haven't. Maybe so.. But being cruel is not something I forget. Recently I was unfriended on Facebook by someone who sort of mattered to me. I was surprised. I don't see her as a reason, a season, or a lifetime. More like a mistake.  That being said, I give you a poem to ponder:

Reason, Season, or Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown

Where are my political rants?

I'm still campaigning for President Obama but it's been a LOT easier this time because so in Mitt Romney. I haven't needed the catharsis of the Patch as much as I did before and I have taken on new projects that keep me astonishingly busy. But I had to share a little levity about my favorite demographic:

Happy Autumn to those of you who still check in. I will try to do better.

RIP Matthew S. Mezger Sr. Frenemy.

Passing of Matthew S. Mezger Sr. Mezger, Matthew "Steve" 58 of North Chicago, IL passed away on Tuesday, July 10, 2012 at Vista East Medical Center in Waukegan. He was born April 3, 1954 in Corona, California and married Josephine Bena on January 7, 1978 at Holy Rosary Church in North Chicago. He retired from Civil Service at Great Lakes in 2001 after 15 years of employment. He was a member of Queen of Peace Church in North Chicago. He enjoyed music, playing the piano, guitar, spending time with his grandkids, watching sports, swimming, roller skating, watching old movies and loved a good political debate. He also enjoyed going to the beach with his children. He is survived by his wife Josephine, his children Jennifer (John) Price of North Chicago, Jackie (Brad) Moon of Sheboygan, WI, Julia (Josiah) Jones, Jr. of Waukegan, Jamie (Ben) Donovan of Milwaukee, Judy and Matthew Mezger, Jr. both of North Chicago. Grandchildren Hailey, Abby, Evan, Emily, Josiah, III, Joey, Julian and Matthew, III; one brother William (Sandra) Mezger of Linnwood, WA and two sisters Lillian Mezger of Gurnee and Cecilia Mezger of Middletown, CT. and one nephew Steve Mezger of Washington State. He was preceded by both his parents. I'm sad to hear the news of Matt's passing. He loved to goad me and vice versa. He will be missed.

Asian Invasion and the Method To My Madness

Long time no see, right? I’d like to say I’ve been accomplishing great things, but I really don’t do that anymore. I just kind of exist. But you know how I am. I get obsessed by something and it’s all that I do. I discovered that I really like Korean dramas. Of course on the outside it just looks like I find hot young Korean guys and become a creepy stalker, but in all honesty there is a little more depth to me than that. I watched one series called City Hunter, where the South Korean President and some of the highest ranking government officials and big business owners betray a group of special forces and shoot them in the water leaving the explanation as to what happened a bit hazy. Unfortunately for them, one guy lived and he’s pissed off about the betrayal. He decides to avenge the deaths by kidnapping the baby of one of the men who had been shot in the secret mission and raising him to become an ultimate fighter in every sense. I am the wife of a Trekkie and one of the wisest things that came out of Gene Rodenberry’s mind was the oft spoken mantra of Spock: “The needs of the many, outweigh the needs of the few or the one.” Isn’t that just the truest thing ever? The problem with that is who gets to decide what is the cause great enough that people should die for it? In City Hunter, these people are truly corrupt and motivated by money and power. But the vigilante is filled with hatred and vengeance. He uses an innocent child to exact revenge but he’s not honest with him. The boy grows to manhood and is just another casualty in this insane war as is his mother who not only lost her husband but her baby. Evil guy doesn’t count on the fact that this man he’s grooming isn’t as blood thirsty. He can bring the men down but he does it by exposing their corruption. The President is last and his motives for covering up his past crimes are not as corrupt. He wants people to be able to afford an education and he needs then to hold off long enough to pass the law. No one escapes unscathed, and you have to stop and think about S. Korean democracy which is relatively new to democracy. The history of South Korea formally begins with the establishment of South Korea on 15 August 1948. Are they more appreciative of their freedom? We aren’t. We abuse them and we are so disrespectful and uninformed. I also just finished Hong Gil Dong which is a sort of Robin Hood tale. I think that if you were to put all of the wealthy (noble, in this show) and the middle class/poor (peasants, in the show) on an even playing field, you would still end up with the class separation. It’s inevitable, but if there WAS a perfect world, it wouldn’t be about wealthy and poor. The key to success as a country is the realization that wealthy OR poor, people are the same. Wealth doesn’t equal superiority. Under the law and the president, every citizen is equal. The question is what will they stoop to, to become wealthy and powerful? This is my problem with Mitt Romney. He’s ruthless and he is out of touch with the reality of the “commoners”. There has to be a leader but the citizens must have a voice and we don’t. Out senators and congressmen don’t represent us. In most cases they love the power more than they love the people they represent. I’m not certain that there can be a president that can keep every promise he makes. I think they must choose their battles, but when they have to disappoint the few to help the many, why do they do it? Do they mean well? I believe Obama means well. I believe that he strives to be fair and keep his promises but his hands are tied. Mitt Romney is out of touch with the peasants  His motives are NOT pure and in the end, the world cannot change overnight but it can change if our leaders work together. We could learn so much from South Korea. But will we? I think not.. I think that we are unwilling to support change. It’s so sad that we are so far oblivious and a fledgling country's democracy that we helped gain their freedom has surpassed us in so many ways.

I'm pretty sure...

You have no clue where my blog is but I never lied. I did nothing more than I said I did. Bravo if you manage to track this down :)