My moment of Zen..

I haven't been feeling myself lately. I find myself wanting to leave my dark house less and less all the time. My husband (after many years of nagging) finished a room downstairs and let me decorate it as I wanted to. He did an awesome job (Thanks hubby, now about the doorbell...) I put up a table long enough to hold a small tabletop ironing board, iron, sewing machine, and the serger that I am clueless on how it works. The colors are earthy with splashes of surprising color here and there. I have a bamboo screen and a futon. The bamboo shade on the window hides cardboard I've used to make it dark and cold. It's my escape. The zen room. No one opens the door without quietly asking permission first.

My love of all things Asian isn't new nor is it surprising. I'm fascinated by the serenity, beauty, and dignity of each country's culture that makes up the whole. I discovered my fascination of the beauty that often hides breathtaking horror of Asian movies (culturally) when I watched Curse of the Golden Flower. It wasn't the first movie of it's kind that I'd seen and loved, but it was the realization that the traditions and culture of people who have been so advanced and yet so backward in our estimation. Truly, it's a veneer that happens everywhere, even right next door. Naturally after the amazing performance of Gong Li, I searched for more and discovered that I love the movies directed by Zhang Yimou and Gong Li was frequently in his movies (as is Zhang Ziyi of who I'm also a huge fan). I can't say I've loved everything I've seen by him but he never fails to surprise.

More recently I watched one of his movies that was called Not One Less. I've come to appreciate the difference in subject matter used in Asian films as opposed to American films which are often the same story different actors. The last movie I watched (not a Zhang movie) was called Letter From An Unknown Woman I was curious because the young actress looked familiar. So I looked on IMDb and it wasn't the same actress but it made me look deeper into something I'd noticed before in the movie Not One Less. The majority of the characters were played by actual people in occupations similar to if not THE one they portray in the movie. They even used their real names. The story is remarkable as are so many of the movies I've watched lately, but even better. The young girl who is the lead in the movie went on to leave her poor village and get a full scholarship to BYU Hawaii. Amazing. I'm going to post the Wiki entry and more info on the director, the movie plot, and the young girl. I highly recommend the movie.

Not One Less Wiki Link
Minzhi Wei

I am truly inspired by this. I am inspired by my day at church where I experienced love and forgiveness from an unlikely place. I wish I had the strength of character of the people who bless my lives. I wish that my anger and bitterness stemming from the pain of my daughter wasn't making me more angry and miserable. I wish I was a person more deserving of these friends and family. I wish I could truly find a moment of Zen.